we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
