are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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