I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
