umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
