What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
