Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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