i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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