she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize