Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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