We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
