she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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