Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
