I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
