some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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