The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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