If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
