I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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