Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
