do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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