Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
