anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
