I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Fuck appropriateness.
Do vagina's smell?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
