I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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