Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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