the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
