so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
