you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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