you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
