the day after is always just damage control
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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