I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
