The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
