Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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