I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
