Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
And then he peed in my hair
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