after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
