Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
