I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
