In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
