I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
