I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
