We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
