Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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