So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
