So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
