I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize