at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
