yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the room spins SO much faster in panama
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
