i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
