I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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