I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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