She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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